Making more quality time with your family
Does it take one week? One hour? One minute? Between all the many many things we try to pack into our day – and the unexpectedly busy schedule that my five-year-old has – finding time together isn’t always easy.
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And even more importantly, finding more quality time together: simply sitting in the same place as she watches TV while I tick off notifications on my phone is not the kind of memory I’ll be looking happily back on in years to come.
If you’re nodding, it’s not just us – UK families spend less than seven hours of quality time together per week, and in the South East it’s under four, according to a new report from Bassetts Vitamins looking at the challenges of modern family life.
It’s all very well suggesting parents find more time – as the report recognises, if we could, we would, with 50% of parents saying they were ‘desperate’ to spend more time together.
But you don’t need to wait until an annual holiday or weekend away. To answer that original question, every minute adds up – I like to think of life (indulge me) as a tapestry. The highs, the lows, the joys, the sorrows might make the pattern, but every stitch counts. So inspired by my five-year-old, here are my five tips for making more quality time with your family
Don’t forget the spare minutes
Despite a wish from everyone I know to have more hours in the day, we seem to be stuck with 24 – and you can’t simply stop doing all the things you have to do. But what about the dead time, the spare minutes?
From the school run to those journeys ferrying kids to activities, you’re probably driving or walking somewhere most days. For my daughter, it’s a chance for her to ask the dozens of questions burning in her mind (and for me to ask Google some of the answers) as well as to chatter about the highlights and lowlights of a day as a five-year-old.
For friends of mine who have older kids, a car journey can be a low-key way to chat with teens – no eye contact, no pressure, just an opportunity for them to open up.
You don’t even need to talk: walking along hand in hand, cycling next to each other, sitting cuddled up for a bedtime story are all the kind of quality time I remember from my childhood.
Keep it simple
We’ve had some amazing adventures together – I can look back on our travels so far and love the experiences we’ve had as a family. But it’s not only the bucket list locations which stand out, wonderful though they are, but the simple joys.
There’s the time I pretended to be a crocodile as she jumped between tree trunk stepping stones to escape. There was beach combing in Whitstable, her face shining with glee as she sprinted over with a new treasure.
There was conker hunting for the squirrel who lives in our back garden, chatting about trees, about animals, making up stories along the way.
When you make the plan and refuse to ditch it for bad weather and bored whinges, the possibility is always there. And when inspiration is failing to strike at the right moment, I love the Colour Quest Activity Kits which Bassetts Vitamins have created, including easy ideas for crafts, for cooking together, and other outdoor activities based on the roll of a colour-coded dice.
The booklet of suggestions now lives in my bag and almost two weeks on, my day still begins with my daughter announcing our colour theme – whether that’s spotting a traffic cone and autumn leaves for orange, racing me to a post box for red, or baking apples and chatting about recycling for green.
Put the tech away
At the grand old age of five, I’m still in charge of her (limited) screen time so my own habits are the ones we need to tackle first. As I’m self-employed, it’s tricky to ignore the emails altogether… but do I need to be idly scrolling through Facebook, especially as my daughter soaks up my example?
Every family’s different, so work out what’s a realistic target – putting devices away at mealtimes, switching off more at weekends, going cold turkey for a certain time period every week.
Even if it’s just 10 minutes, when my attention’s off my phone, it’s on my daughter. My other solution is heading into the countryside for a mini digital detox: when 4G vanishes, I can ignore all the missed messages.
Eat together
Trying to get myself, my husband and my daughter together sometimes feels like mission impossible – for now, even our weekday mealtimes don’t coincide. But I remember my family always sitting down to have a roast dinner together at weekends, and it’s a tradition I want to continue.
Will she always want to? I doubt it – but, whether it’s a picnic, a pizza or a proper sit-down dinner, we’ve all got to eat and it’s a great time to be together.
The same goes for cooking together – left to her own devices, our menu would consist of cheesy pasta and pesto pasta. But she loves to help with the ‘boring’ jobs like peeling fruit and veg, nibbling the results along the way, not to mention weighing ingredients.
And the more involved she gets, the more likely she is to eat the finished product.
Let your kids lead
For everything I teach my daughter, there’s something I learn in exchange: how to slow down, how to notice the little details, how to delight in silliness, how to question everything.
And watching her imagination flourish is one of my favourites – the intricate lives of her stuffed toys, the decision to be knight/dragon/princess and several other characters in a castle, her creation of new animal languages right down to translation sheets (cat language is a lot harder than you’d think!)
She’s challenged me to make up stories as we travel, alternating her own tales with mine. She loves a drawing challenge I thought up, where you pull words from a pot and make a picture… and anything is possible.
And there’s the unselfconsciousness of young kids – dancing to steel drums at an airport in the Caribbean as we waited for our transfer, who cares what anyone else thinks of my dodgy moves?
For other friends, their kids are the fearless ones, the first to try something new – and by joining in, they push their own boundaries too.
Disclosure: I am working with Bassett’s Vitamins in a paid relationship to raise awareness of their Purple Paper research and campaign. All opinions and pasta-obsessed question-filled small girls remain my own.
I LOVE this post! So agree. Yes, the big holidays are amazing but they aren’t a necessity -kids just want our time and love x
Thank you! And absolutely – my daughter does love our holidays, but I think at least part of that is having so much time with me and attention.
a holiday
We sit around the table for a while after a meal and have a chat about things!
We make sure we keep one day at the weekend free for just us and do something together, even if it;s just as simple as going to the park.
We watch a film together every weekend and we like doing craft boxes together too x
we all help with the cooking as a family
We always do something together at the weekend come rain or shine. My kids would go to theme parks every weekend and they also enjoy playing family games at home so we mix it up
A family board game always keeps us focused, entertained and makes us laugh!
When we pick the kids up from school, we sometimes go for a walk down the seafront if it’s not raining. They love it and so what if they’re a bit later in bed because of it!
I’d love to live closer to the sea – and absolutely, the occasional break from the routine makes some of the best memories.
WAlk the dogs together
We love making jigsaw puzzles and playing board games together and we also enjoy regular walks during the weekend.
We always spend weekend mornings together watching a film or playing on Minecraft together x
Make the most of an early risrer! My 4 year old wakes before 6am daily! Used to drive me insane until i learned to embrace it and use this time to do activities together such as arts and crafts, then get washed and start the day!
That is a good idea – although I am definitely not at my best at 6am!
do a board game as a family xx
Its difficult to make family time in my family due to my hours (emergency Ambulance Crew) I work a LOT of weekends and nights so when I do get time off, I love to plan things and surprise my children and husband, even if its just a quick trip to a beach (which isn’t the best beach) the children love it! I just try to do anything I can to keep us all happy 🙂
That’s such a lovely idea – it must be tricky working around your hours, so I’m sure it’s even more special. And a beach is always great!
We always make sure we try to have our breakfast and dinner around the table as often as possible!
We love to go to the park together, swimming and bike rides – they are only little for a short time!
we always have a day out on a sunday, wether it be walking on the moors or visiting a play warehouse
Set aside Sundays for family time
Listen! To what everyone wants, usually it’s just to spend time together
Turn off phones and go out as a family.
A national trust membership it lets us have family time that we need.
These are so useful I think
Days out and in the summer we like to go camping, it is so much fun putting up the tent and cooking meals together
Make sure everyone sits down To the dinner table and eats togeather with no TV Or gadgets
Finding an activity to do that we all enjoy
Turning off / unplugging devices and setting aside a few hours every week that suits us all to talk, play board games, cook and laugh!
Having a designated time every week that is spent just as a family
Google we have recently found a trail near us in the woods where you find the gruffalo I’m definitely googling more walks my kids loved it
We’ve done a couple of those and definitely makes for a really fun walk
We’ve created family night which is simple and can create fun memories. Whether it’s movie night, take-out night, game night, or a family walk night, the key is that a night each week is designated for together time.
I love this idea – simple but you can make it whatever you want.
I always try and forget about the housework and chores at least once a week and spend some time playing with my children
Lovely post with great ideas, thanks. My husband serves abroad a lot so quality family time for the three of us isn’t always possible. However, both myself and my daughter love reading and we have our routine of reading to each other and cuddling up daily. It’s such a fun, simple peaceful routine and it has made her love books so much and enjoying a relaxing moment with mummy. Time is precious and making the time for your family is so so important.
Thank you – and that’s so lovely. My daughter is a little bookworm as well (as I was when I was younger), so we do something very similar too.
We make sure to spend time together, whether its out and about or doing things at home.
Sundays are family days for us. We sit together have a nice dinner, tell jokes and chat. Sometimes play games and make sure home work is completed.
have on fun day a week and go out even if just to the park or for a walk
Consult the children, discuss what is practical, agree it, put it in the diary and stick to it.
Good planning is my secret 🙂
What’s your secret to finding quality time as a family? . . . . l wish l knew . . . we grab it whenever the oppoortunity presents itself
Board games and sunday walks
Trying to do things as a family that we wouldn’t always do, shopping, gardening, tidying etc
Having a technology free hour, once a day.
I wish I knew!!! We try to eat all together at the table as much as possible and always ask the kids what they had for lunch at school and who they sat beside. We try not to have any activities organised on Sundays so we can (hopefully) do family stuff.
We joined English Heritage and go out on trips to castles and historic buildings as a family on a regular basis
I think the passes can be so useful, a never ending stream of ideas and places to go.
Putting the phones down
phones and tv all off and we play board games x
When they get home from school we all have a snack together and discuss the day while they unwind. Then it is time for homework while I cook dinner which we all eat together.
We like to spend time doing activities in the garden where there is no technology!
Timetabling it into my diary!
Cutting down on electronic devices and TV time
We go geocaching walks together!
Something I keep meaning to try…
We always do a family activity on sunday morning where all tv and phones are off. Sometimes we play games and other times we do crafts or something. It gives us time to chat and laugh together
Making time for you all to be together at least once a week and talking/listening to each other
A walk in the park we’re lucky that have so many local to us so always something different to see with the changeable weather!
Having regular days together to do something different x
No secret really. I find I am constantly tidying up, cleaning, cooking and on the rare occasions I do say to myself “that’s it, we are going out for the day” I always say to myself – we should do that more often because all of those jobs will wait!! Easier said than done I am afraid. I should have it written on the wall in the kitchen in large letters to remind me!!
I think I should do that as well!
We routinely make time for craft and games time every Sunday afternoon.
Getting Outside and going on nice walks.
Putting fun into the daily routine sounds wrong, but if you don’t schedule time for it then it won’t happen.
Totally agree
have a family meal
No secret I just try to grab whatever time we can and laugh as much as we can. Its not a lot of time but we try to enjoy each minute 🙂
If its a toss up between playing with the children or housework.Let the dust settle,it will be there when they are grown
It’s about finding something you like to do together as a family – for us it mostly seems to be about building Lego!
Just making the time whether it really exists or not as it is so important.
We always go out for a walk together every weekend.
Sunday is always kept as a family day. We do something nice all together – a day out, a walk, a picnic – but it is our special day kept just for ourselves as a unit
We let our daughter choose what to do at times. Today we went to the park after school and played a game.
We always eat at the table and talk about our days (mobiles off!)
Family country walks and organizing a picnic together.
definitely tech away (the adults) and getting out of the house. I try to make sure we go out somewhere for a walk, or activity at least once during the week and weekend as a family
I always try to do one fun thing a day with my children whether it’s a 30 min stop off at the park on the way home from school or movie night at the end of a busy day. And then we plan bigger things like soft play, days at the local play farm, swimming etc for half terms and weekends, time and funds permitting. I am lucky to work part time so I can fit these things in with the kids and daddy joins in as much as he can too.
We try not to make any plans on a Sunday. Sundays are lovely family time x
Sunday evenings all phones etc are off and we play cards or board games for at least two hours
Our weekend dogs walks
Step away from the computer and back away from your phone. Grab some snacks and enjoy being home.
planning is the key
We have a no phone policy at dinner times so we can all talk and chat about our day.
Playing board games
have a movie night and once a week to the park or beach (if weather not grim)
getting more organised…and getting up earlier in the morning!
We dont spend money on junk or takeaways and just book lots of short breaks in log cabins.
We set aside a day each week to do something all together
My secret is to do general house chores together such as cooking.
Get up and out early to make the most of the day!
we cook together they help lay table and put food out they seem to love it
My son loves doing anything art and craft related, we try to fit this in as often as we can after school and also make time for bedtime stories every night.
Plan a day out and go, no hesitation. Make the most of the day and especially the most of your quality time with your family.
Days out together.
We love going on walks, it forces us to spend time talking and playing and I honestly love it!
I make sure that not to make any plans on saturday- its time for family strictly
Definitely trying to sit at the table to eat our evening meal together and chat
I try not to keep a full diary outside of work so I have plenty of time for my little girl and family x
watch less TV
We are Merlin pass holders! That’s our secret to quality family time! we get to go to all the Events, themeparks, sealife and lots of other Merlin attractions up and down the county. In fact we just spent today at Alton Towers Scarefest, The kids always look forward to these events! The next event is Fireworks at LegoLand! x x x
I find the best way is when it’s just me and my three no one else involved that’s when we spend the best times
Turn of your mobile phone
Making time to spend time in the the garden!
In this day and age , when mostly, both parents work, finding quality time is difficult ! Try to spare a little time everyday doing something fun together ! Playing a board game, kareoke, books , etc, or, even helping with homework ( can be fun , if you make learning exciting!)
even when im really tired i make sure i get all my jobs done in the evenings so that come the weekend we can have long free days to spend together as a family without lots of jobs getting in the way!!
Spend less time online- get outdoors more!
We set an evening aside and also one day in the weekend we try and do something family related.
I turn the internet off and we play a game or cards