10 Sep 2012
When breast is (apparently) not best
Oooh controversial. Before the comments begin, I should say that for women who want to do it (and most importantly can do it) breastfeeding is wonderful. I hardly need to go into detail about the health benefits or the amazing feeling of closeness, even the practicality of not having to sterilise bottles and having a potentially inexhaustible milk supply on hand at any one time.
And I do genuinely agree with it all, which is why I’ve been breastfeeding since day one – admittedly with mixed results. It’s taken a large amount of single-minded, blindly stubborn determination and several patient and helpful NCT breastfeeding counsellors to get me to this stage, and there have been plenty of tears and an impressive loss of perspective, sometimes several times a day.
But as I’ve been getting Minnie weighed every week, the scales have not been heading upwards as they should. Despite one formula top-up per day then two, all in a special Medela Calma bottle to avoid causing any further problems with breastfeeding, the number of ounces which have been going on mean she’s still been dropping down the centiles.
Health visitors and GPs reassured me that she seems happy and healthy but that we’d need to keep an eye on her weight, until finally with one referral to a paediatrician already working its way through the NHS’s system, I was told I had to stop breastfeeding and head to hospital for checks the same day. Not the kind of statement any health practitioner is going to make lightly, but we had to guarantee Minnie was getting at least 500mls of milk a day – and you can’t do that with breastfeeding (or with expressing in my case).
An afternoon with a string of specialists carrying out a barrage of tests confirmed there seems to be no underlying condition to blame, thankfully. Which means either she hasn’t been getting enough milk from me despite apparently having plenty to go around, or for some reason it isn’t giving her the calories she needs.
The official term is ‘failure to thrive’, which I have to remind myself doesn’t equate to ‘failure as a mother’. Most important is that she’s healthy and at least she’s had the benefit of nearly two months’ worth of breast milk.
But from now, it’s bottles all the way, plus some additional mini feeds and top-ups of expressed milk while I reduce production. And I start working out how to fit formula and sterilising into our travel plans.
Image: nerissa’s ring/Flickr
When it comes to breastfeeding, it’s so easy to criticise and pass judgement but it really is a bloody hard thing to do and unfortunately, like in your situation, doesn’t always work out like it should.
I had to stay in hospital for a week after my son was born and know that if it wasn’t for the amazing support I received, I would’ve probably given up. I went through hell. It was a happy ending thankfully, but could’ve been much different without so much help.
farfromhomemama
September 10th, 2012 at 7:01 pmpermalink
Absolutely – I wouldn’t even have made it this far without lots of support from various breastfeeding counsellors and I’d never criticise someone else’s decision, as you simply don’t know the background. As you say, sometimes it just doesn’t work out and piling on the guilt to someone who’s already struggling helps no-one. Thankfully most of the responses I’ve had have been really positive, but there have still been well-intentioned suggestions that I just need to phone another helpline to be able to carry on, when it’s really not about that any more.
mummytravels
September 11th, 2012 at 3:39 pmpermalink
Bottle is best if you ask me! I breastfed my first for three weeks but she failed to thrive. No2 went on the bottle from day one – and was a MUCH HAPPIER baby : )
LeoTheBear
September 19th, 2012 at 5:57 pmpermalink
Interesting – I’m hearing from a few people whose babies failed to thrive in breastfeeding but were fine once they switched to a bottle. I’d heard the stories about how feeding itself could be hard but not that it might not be enough even if the latch/supply etc is fine.
mummytravels
September 19th, 2012 at 7:44 pmpermalink
My daughter refused the breast a couple of hours after she was born, she’d had her initial feed but that was it. It took a concerted effort to convince her to feed once more from me, but as it was the busiest night at the hospital it just wasn’t working. They kept us in for overtime to try to convince her, but it was a no go. So I was sent home to express and top up as needed. Even with a live in mid-wife we were having trouble. Then, 2 weeks after she was born we headed off on our first trip overseas.
After a further 3 weeks I was expressing all day to get a single feed, I was in tears most of the day and clearly not coping at all. My daughter, however, was doing fine on formula with the odd bit of mummy-milk and so I made the decision to stop. It was the best decision for us both as now she had a mother who was happier and able to concentrate for more than 5 minutes!
Travelling when the baby is very young is not impossible, but it is tough – and not so much for the baby, more for Mum than anything else!
Kersti
September 28th, 2012 at 1:42 pmpermalink
Hi Kersti – am so impressed you were travelling at two weeks, but great to know it’s doable. And I’m hearing a lot of stories like yours about breastfeeding. It certainly sounds like you persevered long and hard, and more than a lot of people – and that you made the right decision. I know I’m much less stressed about feeding now, and while it would have been lovely to be able to breastfeed, having a happy baby and mother has to be the most important thing.
mummytravels
September 28th, 2012 at 2:55 pmpermalink